Sunday, 13 March 2011


by Earlie Doriman
One day I found myself reading for another time a book of the same title ‘How to Get What You Want and Want What You Have’ by John Gray, who by the way introduced the world the more arguable ‘Men are from Mars: Women are from Venus’. It is a stimulating work of mind and emotion, and it continues to inspire me until now.

So how do you get what you want in your life? What aspect of your life now do you feel happier than before? Is it your career you consider too promising you could not possibly afford to let go of? It maybe your married life that has transformed you into an optimistic and constructive person. Is it your ‘new-found’ relationship that offers you heaven and bed of roses, which makes life complete? Or a recovery from a long illness that has changed your outlook about life’s happiness. Perhaps, you are content with the simple blessings that come your way every single day and you feel like you don’t want for more.

Are you that person who always compare yourself to others, and would feel bitter when you realize that they have more?

According to John Gray and I quote: “ The real challenge in life is not just getting what you want but continuing to want what you have ”. Indeed, not all who have so much in life are truly happy and peaceful. On the contrary, many who have less share of the world’s wealth be likely to appreciate life and being joyful of what they actually have. Yes, the extreme points of the spectrum of life and this is the reality of the world’s social order.

Not to be hypocrite around, I do feel bitter at some things because in my mind I know I could have done better, could have been better, and could have acquired more. However, I agree that personal success is not measured by who you are, how much you possess, or what you have accomplished. It is measured by how good you feel about who you are, what you have, and what you have done. A soft bang to my head to realize that I am already blessed with so much.

Let me share to you these stirring lines from the book and I hope you can pick some inspirations to consider in the context of your outlook about personal success.

“Personal success is achieved when you feel really good about yourself and your past, present, and future.”

“Wanting more is the nature of our soul, mind, heart, and senses”

“Darkness cannot be directly removed, but it automatically disappears when you turn on the light.”

“The world is filled with millions of people who are happy but poor”

“When you pray, God only does the part that you can’t do”

“A car can be working fine, but if it does not have any gas, it can’t go anywhere”

“Our needs for love vary according to our unique deficiencies”

“When you are not loving yourself, no one except you can make you feel better”

“Most of the time when couples argue, within five minutes, they are arguing about the way they are arguing”

“A man must continue to feel needed and responsible to others or he will lose his sense of purpose and vitality. A woman needs to feel that she is not alone and that she can depend on others; too much autonomy is not healthy”

“Around age thirty-seven it is the women who complain about not enough sex and not the men”

“By wanting more but appreciating everything they had, many have unlimited success in life”

“The fire of passion, once ignited, attracts great and brilliant ideas”

“If you turn it over to God each day, then your whole journey becomes so much easier”

“What we believe is what we create”

“When you resist, you are reinforcing the belief that you can’t get what you want”

“When we don’t want to be hurt, then opportunities to be hurt again are what we attract”

“A true desire is always in harmony with each of the four levels: body, heart, mind, and soul.”

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