ON BEING "NAKAKAHIYA" for Speaking in CEBUANO...

Let me share this short piece by Ma. Pilar Chanda Gado Antoque, who is now living and working as a College Teacher in New Zealand. She is like a sister, a confidant and an adviser; she is honestly more than a friend to me. We went to the same school back in the Philippines and we taught in the same University, shared the same vision in education and inspired by similar ambitions in life. We used to be strange enemies at the University, she was a student leader and I was a student publication staff. We criticized them and they criticized us in return, but those were avenues why we became friends and that friendship continues to flourish up to now.

Just recently I read her ‘short story’ in facebook and asked her if I could share this piece to the blogosphere, although I know she would never say ‘NO’, but her ‘YES”  seals the valid approval to get it published. Read along…

''My mind is still troubled about an incident at church yesterday. The week before, I was asked to translate and read one segment of the prayers of the faithful for the Pentecost Sunday celebration. I told the Cathedral secretary that I was never good at translating texts into Filipino, the national language of the Philippines. I promised to find her... someone who could do the job. She said I did not have to do that as I could actually say the prayer in my native tongue. She promised to e-mail me the texts that were to be translated. I wasn't able to read her e-mail as my inbox had been littered with hundreds of notification of my moodle discussions with my counselling mates and professors at the Waikato University. Came Sunday, Andrea asked me if I received her e-mail and I gasped and said "no". 

She handed me a copy of the prayer that I would have to recite infront of the congregation and asked if I could translate it right there and then. With the help of another Cebuano mate, I took the challenge. Along with other Catholics from other countries, I participated in the symbolic "speaking in tongues".I said the prayer in Cebuano but the ones reflected on the gigantic screen were the texts in English. It went well and afterwards the African beside me whispered that she just loved every sound of it.

After the mass, A disgruntled Filipina came to me and asked me arrogantly if I could refresh her memory of Philippine History. I was taken aback and was dumbfounded for a second or two when she blurted out. "NAKAKAHIYA, Walang nakakaintindi sa pinagsasabi mo". Calmly I asked her "Bakit nakakahiya Te? Hindi dapat ikinahihiya ang prayer." I realised that she was referring to the prayer that was said in Cebuano instead of Filipino. She was still on her "nakakahiya monolugue" when I explained to her what transpired between me and Andrea. I appreciate that she listened to my explanation and somehow calmed down. I said my goodbye politely and respectfully.
It was only after I left the Church and after having spoken to other Cebuanos who witnessed the incident and overheard her that I realised that she might have the best intention in mind but her words damaged the sensibilities of Cebuanos like me. If I were to deconstruct the word "nakakahiya" and associate it with my native tongue, strange but I just could not grasp what it truly meant in such a context. Maybe someone who does not speak Cebuano can figure it out for me. One thing I have realized though, that in this vast sea of different coloured and sounding people, there is nothing more hurtful than being discriminated by one's own. 
If you are one of those who accuse me of being "nakakahiya", I don't need your apology. I just want you to ask yourselves these: Was it "nakakahiya" for others who stood up there and faced the congregation and uttered their prayers in their own native tongue like Afrikaan, Indonesian, Dutch, Polish and etc? Or was it just ME, because I said my prayer in the most intimate language I could think of, Cebuano? Before you open your mouth and say something, let me tell you what I have in mind. How could you ever face your God tonight without taking to heart how you positioned yourself over others? And to think we were at the Church. God bless you.''