A CONSCIOUS GRATITUDE

by Earlie Doriman
To me, gratitude is a feeling and a virtue of being grateful to others whose influence into your life creates a lasting remembrance and profound difference. To say you are grateful means you appreciate genuinely the kindness and goodwill extended to you by someone who might be a family member, a relative, a friend, or perhaps a complete stranger. Therefore, conscious gratitude is an expression from your heart flowing out naturally, expands within, and makes you an inspiring reflection of that same compassion bequeathed unto you by others. You become what their kindness has sown into your own being.
I grew up in a big family. My father was a very humble farmer and my mother a plain homemaker, who looked after seven children. I knew then that as a farmer, my father could not provide us everything that we wanted, but I did not reckon we were deprived of our happiness as young kids because what I could reminisce today were the happy memories of a countryside life. The bursting laughter with my younger brothers and friends as we climbed trees like monkeys, the thrill on riding carabaos (water buffalo which is so called farmer’s beast), the enjoyment of flying kites, the real excitement running on hills and valleys and a whole lot more.

Philippine carabao or water buffalo

I could not forget the slingshot that my father made for me which I was supposed to use to scare away tiny birds (which we locally call ‘maya’ bird) feasting in our rice field. But I used it sometimes to hunt for birds like owls, trogon, wild ducks, black bittern, white-collared kingfisher (tikarol or tingkarol), crows, and others. I was not aware that my hunting contributed to the extinct of some tropical bird species. There were loads of birds in the farm before, of various colours – black, stripy, grayish, brown, and mixed; of varied sizes - small ones, big ones, crazy ones, fierce ones; differently shaped beaks – curve, long, sharp, dull, anything. I remembered being attacked by a very angry female owl because I was moving close to where her offspring (owlets) were. It was truly frightening but to remember it now, was so much fascinating and exciting.

Philippine Maya

Not only that, there were also nasty creatures on the ground (or so I thought). I knew I killed more than twenty different snakes, along the roads, or in rice paddies, or under coconut trees, or some in swampy areas. They were not dangerous snakes, (or should I say they were just a bit venomous). What I was honestly afraid of was the local cobra, which fights back if your attack is not as accurate. Since snakes became a daily encounter, I always made it sure to carry that flexible guava stick in my hand if I went to the farm. There were many times too that I have to run for my life. Pythons were not very friendly when you disturbed them, you see. Plus the fact that one of our neighbours died due to snake bites. It wasn’t a joke certainly.
Generally, it was a simple life, a laid back existence, and exciting countryside survival, something that I wish my children could experience too, of course without the snakes this time.
Like everybody else, our parents have a dream for us. They wanted all of us to finish our education. My Nanay (it’s how we addressed our mother), used to tell us that we could have a much better life if we get a degree and she told us that we have to do our best, study hard and believe that in prayers and hard work God will provide. These are the words of inspiration that propelled us to endeavour and conquered better lives. My high school principal is a God’s blessing, an answer to my hardest prayers, he was truly instrumental for my university scholarship and I am perpetually thankful about it. Tatay Oren and Nanay Domen (who passed away few a years ago), my father’s bother and sister in law respectively, have been so kind to offer me financial help during my university years. In fact their family were so generous to us that they trusted my father to look after their farm and eventually give it to us in the early 2000’s. The Brothers of the Sacred Heart that gave my younger brother a full secondary scholarship and the many other friends and relatives who helped us realized our dreams. These were just few to mention about the wonders of God’s provision.




Yet it was not a smooth journey. It was filled with all sort of frustrations and possibilities, challenges, disappointments and uncertainties. However, these were the best experiences, which humbled us all along. And in these events, that the blessing of good people, abounds. People whom my parents and my siblings feel very grateful and thankful then and now. They were gifts who came, supported us, and continue to be gifts today and inspire us to extend that kindness to others. I know how difficult it is to need something beyond your grip and I must know how amazing it is to find people who lead you the way to get it. 
If I were to list down people who I should thank for, for all the things that I have and for everything that I am now, I know it would take a whole lot of counting and I might not be able to remember every single individual who in their own little way supported me unconditionally. It is truly a blessing in ones life and existence to know people and to have families and relatives willing to help without asking something in return. I am so fortunate I have them in my life.
I would always be proud to tell others about our family, our journey, my journey and my sibling’s respective journeys. Definitely, I would be proud to tell my kids that in this life, there are so many kind-hearted people and we are so blessed we are able to know them so well.