THERE IS LIFE IN HUMOUR

by Earlie Doriman

I have always been interested at hilarious stories. When I was a kid, I remember an Uncle who used to tell us jokes about anything. He was very popular amongst children my age because he never ran out of short stories and once he started to share his wittiness, we glued ourselves around him to listen and laugh our hearts out. I could not keep in mind now how he did that, but what I remember clearly were the happy faces of my childhood friends and the empty silence that would take over every time my Uncle declared he was done. After he left, we all tried to replicate the jokes and made it our own by saying them again prompting another bursts of laughter. But there is nothing better than the original piece.

So indeed to me, humour, comedy, joke, funny story, or whatever you call it, is naturally relaxing and a neutralizer to the saturating pressures of work. That will explain the fact why I love comedy shows and films. After all, there is no substitute to the decent therapeutic elements of feeling happy and feeling good when you laugh. As the saying goes: ' Laughter is the best medicine'. When I listen to good jokes, life becomes more beautiful and pleasing.It keeps us young.

Let me share these ‘few-liners’ jokes which I am able to retrieve from the compilation I treasured so much. Some maybe wicked or frightful, but as much as possible I truly avoided those with swearing terms. I suppose there are no minors reading my posts so I am at least assured, I could not offend children. However, I still warn those who are extra conservative and sensitive to just move your cursor to the upper rightmost corner on your screen and click X to close.

“My friend was dining at McDonalds the other day when he suddenly realized he desperately needed to pass bad wind. The music was really, really loud, so he timed his explosives with the beat of the music. 

After a couple of songs, he started to feel better. Whilst he finished his drink, 
he noticed that everybody was mockingly staring at him.... 

Then he suddenly remembered that he was listening to his iPod.”

My brother’s really cheeky son Casper was sitting in class doing simple Mathematics problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Casper, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None Miss," replied Casper, "because the rest would fly away." "Well class, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking Casper.

Casper raised his right hand and said, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, could you tell me which one is married?" 

"Well," said the teacher tensely, "I guess the one sucking the cone." 

"No, Miss" said Casper, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."

There are more funny campaign slogans to discourage drinking alcohol.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, more handsome, and smarter than some really, really, massive wrestler like Hulk Hogan.

“When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $10 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. 
The Russians used a pencil.”

Two clever scientists went to a camping trip. After a sumptuous dinner and a fine bottle of wine, they went to sleep.

After few hours, one of them woke up and nudged his faithful friend.

Scientist 1:  My friend, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.

Scientist 2: I see millions and millions of stars.

Scientist 1: And what do you deduce from that?

Scientist 2: 

Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and  potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is Leo.

 Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

  Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

 Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignifcant part of the universe.

But what does it tell you, my friend?

Scientist 1: (After a moment of silence). You huge stupid my friend, Someone has stolen our tent.